Done

Once again I find myself slacking here. Sorry to the all two of you regular readers. You know who you are (seriously, I'm down to just you two).

And I've been slacking on my picture taking, although now that it's starting to get green outside again I probably will find myself motivated to start taking more photos. I was really getting bummed out by all the gray. Rarely if ever will you hear me complain about snow, but I was/am getting sick of the cold gray and tan surroundings. We didn't really get that much snow this winter although it was threating to snow at some point today.

I've given up or at least I don't care anymore. As far as the womenfolk go. I'm not pining to be with anyone (it'd be nice) and I don't even know if I want to be bothered with getting involved with anyone. Having said that, it doesn't mean my eyes are closed. The last time I took this stance I ended up on a three year dry spell. And by dry spell I mean nothing. No dates, no hand holding and nothing else. That part wasn't exactly ok. And in fact I'm torn between what exactly giving up means. Does it mean to completely disengage or just not care anymore. Does giving up mean I'm not able to show interest or just that at this point either way is ok with me. Crud, if I'm asking these questions does that mean I haven't given up?

Ugh. I'm going to bed.

Get this out of my head

Apparently, I'm not depressed just obsessive. And I wish my obsessiveness was directed at keeping my place clean instead of the direction it has been heading.

Ever since I'm stopped taking the meds, I've had a certain type of thought continue to run through my head. Mostly, when I'm at home and not really engaged in anything else. I don't really remember having these kinds of thought patterns before but I was on the meds long enough that I don't really remember what it was like before that. Especially in the place I am now. Before, I was still living in Steamboat with a fairly strong support system that I could talk things out. I have that here but to a much smaller degree. And sometimes I feel I have to watch what I say or it will come back to haunt me.

Geez, I feel like everytime I write something here, I'm just working the same question over and over again.

Try this, we finally had our first thundershowers today. Actually the thunder and lightning started last night. It has been a long time since I heard thunder (except for that thundersnowstorm we had last month) with rain and lightning. I was talking to another person today about how I still miss the all day thunderstorms back in the midwest. We just don't get those here. Hell, by the time I left work today the sun was out and pretty much everything was completely dry.

And I've had the Avett Brothers stuck in my head all week.