It was dumping snow when I got out of work. Almost as soon as I walked out of the door there was a clap of thunder in the middle of this snowstorm. Just one clap but it was thunder. It's been years since I've heard thunder in the middle of a snowstorm and before today there was only one other time I'd experience such a thing.
It's sort of weird to hear thunder in a snowstorm. I suspect Colorado is one of the few places one can witness this type of thing. Before I came here I'd never heard of it. After I'd been here people would talk about it but it was several years before I ever heard it.
Part of me wishes it was a full on thunder snowstorm. Actually more than a part of me. That would have been pretty cool.
There is good news in my work thing as well. I've been reassigned to the helpdesk which means I'm off the phones for the most part. Now instead of dumb customers I mostly have to deal with dumb agents. But at least now I don't have to take random calls from irate customers. Other than having to call them back to let them know that we had to set up an all day window to get their digital telephone installed. The cool thing is that I'll be learning a bunch of new stuff. I'm not sure how practical it will be but it can't hurt.
Which also means no more telling people their phone or internet isn't working because they need tp plug their modem back in.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
little steps
It's that time of night where the generic Ambien kicks in and I get this sort of light headed tired feeling. My doctor told me that Ambien acts a hypnotic, I can fee that it put me in a certain state. A state almost like being drunk without being drunk. My motor skills aren't quite what they were a half an hour ago. And there are some perceptual shifts around here. Curves that weren't there seen to show up and the floor seems to develop when I'm walking around the apartment. There are times I consider taking maybe one more than I should just to see what would happen. Of course it would have to be when I'm not working the next day. It could be interesting.
For the first time in a long time I did manage to get the phone number of a woman this weekend, which I think means I'm taking my small baby steps and getting back in the game. And I think tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to call her. It's been so many years, I can't remember the rules of the game.
The one thing is, if I am starting to date again, I need to be careful. There is a list of red flags that I've come up with. I'm not so sure how serious some of them are, but some of them are hard and fast. I'm not really going to outline them here, other than sanity is high on the list. No longer do I want to be around people who are not sane. Perhaps thats unfair, because all but one maybe two were clinically sane. But I guess crazy takes various forms.
And I'm still looking for a plant to put up in here. And hang those damn photos that are haunting me.
For the first time in a long time I did manage to get the phone number of a woman this weekend, which I think means I'm taking my small baby steps and getting back in the game. And I think tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to call her. It's been so many years, I can't remember the rules of the game.
The one thing is, if I am starting to date again, I need to be careful. There is a list of red flags that I've come up with. I'm not so sure how serious some of them are, but some of them are hard and fast. I'm not really going to outline them here, other than sanity is high on the list. No longer do I want to be around people who are not sane. Perhaps thats unfair, because all but one maybe two were clinically sane. But I guess crazy takes various forms.
And I'm still looking for a plant to put up in here. And hang those damn photos that are haunting me.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The revolution skipped a beat or two
It seems that when I make a trip to the video store, I almost always end up with either a documentary or some form of Japanese animation to watch.
Tonight I watched The Weather Underground. I've always been curious about this group, although I'm not really sure why. It was an interesting documentary, though. Mostly told from the point of view from some of the radicals themselves with a bit of one of the FBI agents that tracked them thrown in for balance. The thing that struck me is that these people believed that the revolution was right around the corner. I can't really say that I've ever thought that in my life. Or at least not that there would be some radical overall of the current system like these folks believed. Perhaps I just grew up in an age that was more cynical, or perhaps the repression that these people spoke about was/is true.
There was a time in Indiana that I did believe that the Indiana and the midwest in general was going to revolutionize music. This was right after Seattle broke and there were just so many good bands in the midwest playing all kinds of music. That never really happened but damn it felt like it was just around the corner. And I'm not the only one who thought that. Over the years I've talked to people from back there who felt the same. We were young and naive back then. What none of us realized is that for a area to take off musically it needs to be near a coast. And the closest coast to Indiana is the Third Coast. Admittedly, Chicago has alway had a thriving scene (and I'm not saying that midwest cities don't) but the hotbeds for music labels seem to be on the main coasts or slightly inland.
Or I could be old and jaded.
Tonight I watched The Weather Underground. I've always been curious about this group, although I'm not really sure why. It was an interesting documentary, though. Mostly told from the point of view from some of the radicals themselves with a bit of one of the FBI agents that tracked them thrown in for balance. The thing that struck me is that these people believed that the revolution was right around the corner. I can't really say that I've ever thought that in my life. Or at least not that there would be some radical overall of the current system like these folks believed. Perhaps I just grew up in an age that was more cynical, or perhaps the repression that these people spoke about was/is true.
There was a time in Indiana that I did believe that the Indiana and the midwest in general was going to revolutionize music. This was right after Seattle broke and there were just so many good bands in the midwest playing all kinds of music. That never really happened but damn it felt like it was just around the corner. And I'm not the only one who thought that. Over the years I've talked to people from back there who felt the same. We were young and naive back then. What none of us realized is that for a area to take off musically it needs to be near a coast. And the closest coast to Indiana is the Third Coast. Admittedly, Chicago has alway had a thriving scene (and I'm not saying that midwest cities don't) but the hotbeds for music labels seem to be on the main coasts or slightly inland.
Or I could be old and jaded.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
That pile in my kitchen
Well, I'm finally in my new place with just me and my computers. The apartment still looks a little sparse as I haven't framed and hung any photos but I have a few in mind. And the corner in the kitchen has boxes of Cd's, records and god knows what else. That's OK I remembered that I can stow stuff under my bed again. Plus if nothing else there is actually a lot of storage space (which right now is filled with mostly empty boxes that I keep telling myself will come in handy the next time I move somewhere (which could be a matter of months or longer).
Looking at all of my stuff piled haphazardly in boxes, I realized this time before I put those boxes bad on the shelf I really need to go through them. The truth is most of the items fall into just a few categories. I think the biggest category would probably be various forms of correspondence I've received over the years. There are letters from people I vaguely remember, there are letters and cards from relative who've since passed on (one Granny in particular). Friends who were writing me back after I'd written then a drunken letter (I've always been more of a drunken writer as opposed to a drunk dialer. And I need to go through those letters, not so much to get rid of them but perhaps to organize them.
Another category is the trinkets and toys that people have given me (and I've bought for myself) over the years. An example is the little green alien statue that always seems to end up on my bookshelf at some point or in a plant. Of which I haven't picked any up yet. I need to get at least one.
And then there is the truly random crap that I can never seem to part with. Like the notebook from college that I just can seem to part with. Or the miniature stuffed skunk named Buster. Stuff like that. And I'm of course the dork who is sitting in front of two very old computers. One for Internet and one for photos and music.
It"s getting there.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
That box of photos
Unpacking can sometimes be as tedious as moving for me sometimes. Hell, most of the time I never fully unpack. I just leave most of the stuff in the boxes I put them in and drag them from city to city. At some point I should really go through those boxes and see how much of that stuff I really need to keep. A lot of it is old letters from people either long forgotten or dead, so I hold onto it. But it could be consolidated.
At some point I acquired a scanner. Since I don't have an Internet connection at home right now (come on Saturday!), I spent part of the last two evening going through old photos and scanning some of them in. It seems I take better pictures when I use digital, either that or my skills have progressed more. That and my old film camera was a point and shoot. It is good for what it does but my digital cameras have been much more flexible.
Sorry I got sidetracked there. My point actually was that going back through those old photos always triggers a flood of memories. There's pictures of all the dogs in my life, former roommates, friends from long ago and at least one former girlfriend that I still miss sometimes (at least a lot more than the others). I'm not sure if I'd really want to relive those years again but sometimes I think those times were better than now. Of course, we always remember the past probably better that it really was. But I look at the few photos of me from back then and I'm smiling. And it doesn't seem to be forced like it is now. Maybe in a way I was more innocent or at least less jaded.
Nonetheless, I can't go back to those years even if I wanted to and I am better off now than I was then. But I still want a piece of that guy back.
At some point I acquired a scanner. Since I don't have an Internet connection at home right now (come on Saturday!), I spent part of the last two evening going through old photos and scanning some of them in. It seems I take better pictures when I use digital, either that or my skills have progressed more. That and my old film camera was a point and shoot. It is good for what it does but my digital cameras have been much more flexible.
Sorry I got sidetracked there. My point actually was that going back through those old photos always triggers a flood of memories. There's pictures of all the dogs in my life, former roommates, friends from long ago and at least one former girlfriend that I still miss sometimes (at least a lot more than the others). I'm not sure if I'd really want to relive those years again but sometimes I think those times were better than now. Of course, we always remember the past probably better that it really was. But I look at the few photos of me from back then and I'm smiling. And it doesn't seem to be forced like it is now. Maybe in a way I was more innocent or at least less jaded.
Nonetheless, I can't go back to those years even if I wanted to and I am better off now than I was then. But I still want a piece of that guy back.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Some song about a bird that's free
Soon I'll truly be living by myself. No ex girlfriend's stuff to look at. No needy cats. Just my little place which is basically going to be a room as it's an one bath studio. But I get a balcony and I can have plants again.
Actually, having plants again is a big bonus and that may be one of the first things I buy for the place. That and a trash can, plate, bowl and a set of flatware. Maybe I should get two of each (well not the trash can). As some can attest, when I lived up in Steamboat I had some really nice plants that I gave away. The good news is someone up there has started clipping from my old plants. So in a way I'll be getting them back. At least genetically.
It is a really small place, the truth is I haven't seen it yet but it's in the same complex so I know it will be clean when I move in. The management company seems to do a pretty good job of getting places ready for the next tenants.
Some folks at work are trying to get me to have a house warming party, but I seriously think that only six people or so could be there at a time. So maybe I'll have my house warming party at the bar down the street. That could be fun. And one guy ask if he could bring a plant. Of course. He can bring the plant to the bar.
One of the strong pulls I have about going to Indiana is that there is a much longer growing season and the earth was make for growing plants. I'm lucky that my parents have a big enough spread that if nothing else I could have a small portion to start a garden. I'd have to start with the simple hardy stuff. And maybe some daisies and columbines if I can get them to grow there.
A few nights back, I was telling some lady about how I'm moving back. When she asked why, I started talking about the earth there. The earth and the soil and how the land of that place gets inside you and never leaves. Or at least some of us.
I'll talk to friends who escaped Indiana, and many of them want to return at some point. Mostly the ones who grew up in the Indy area. We seem to be feeling that pull as we get older. It was probably inevitable. And my friends who are staying where they are still live some where they could have nice garden if they wanted to. Maybe there is something to soil in Indiana.
And if anyone in Colorado Springs reads this and wants to help move a couple of boxes this weekend let me know. I'll get a round at the Point when we're done.
Actually, having plants again is a big bonus and that may be one of the first things I buy for the place. That and a trash can, plate, bowl and a set of flatware. Maybe I should get two of each (well not the trash can). As some can attest, when I lived up in Steamboat I had some really nice plants that I gave away. The good news is someone up there has started clipping from my old plants. So in a way I'll be getting them back. At least genetically.
It is a really small place, the truth is I haven't seen it yet but it's in the same complex so I know it will be clean when I move in. The management company seems to do a pretty good job of getting places ready for the next tenants.
Some folks at work are trying to get me to have a house warming party, but I seriously think that only six people or so could be there at a time. So maybe I'll have my house warming party at the bar down the street. That could be fun. And one guy ask if he could bring a plant. Of course. He can bring the plant to the bar.
One of the strong pulls I have about going to Indiana is that there is a much longer growing season and the earth was make for growing plants. I'm lucky that my parents have a big enough spread that if nothing else I could have a small portion to start a garden. I'd have to start with the simple hardy stuff. And maybe some daisies and columbines if I can get them to grow there.
A few nights back, I was telling some lady about how I'm moving back. When she asked why, I started talking about the earth there. The earth and the soil and how the land of that place gets inside you and never leaves. Or at least some of us.
I'll talk to friends who escaped Indiana, and many of them want to return at some point. Mostly the ones who grew up in the Indy area. We seem to be feeling that pull as we get older. It was probably inevitable. And my friends who are staying where they are still live some where they could have nice garden if they wanted to. Maybe there is something to soil in Indiana.
And if anyone in Colorado Springs reads this and wants to help move a couple of boxes this weekend let me know. I'll get a round at the Point when we're done.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Running out boxes
Moving sucks. Right now it beats the alternative, and I'm only moving one building over but it still sucks. Tonight I boxed up most of my book and have come to the conclusion that I'm due to have another bookshelf. Seeing how I haven't actually seen my new place, I think I may just end up with stacks on thee floor. It'll be like living in a bookstore, all I'll need is a cat.
Perhaps it's not the moving so much as the packing before moving, It didn't take that long to box up the box. But I stopped and thought to myself, "well this is going to screw up my system". Not that I have much of system other than trying to keep books by the same author together. And sometime try to shoot for a bit on genre continuity.
But then I hit myself with authors like Kurt Vonnegut (RIP), some his stuff could sort of go in SciFi but he never really wrote SciFi. Yeah some of his stuff was set in SciFi worlds and situation but I would never classify him as SciFi. He wrote like a grumpy man that told stories of horrible things happening to people and yet there was a strong sense of hope underneath it. Like the man said (I don't know which man) his (Vonnegut's) stories were sugar pills with bitter coatings.
Being that I am a geek, my SciFi collection has grown exponentially over the last year or so. I started by picking up some of the classics that I read back in middleschool and high school. Like Isaac Assimov, Arthur C. Clarke, A Canticle for Lebinwitz and other stuff like that. Then I moved into Neal Stephenson who writes some amazing stories and has moved onto volumes of historical fiction.
Which I guess means most of these last few guys will end up close by each other on the shelf. And then there's all the other stuff.
And I haven't even started looking at the CDs and vinyl. You may find me trying to sell some of that stuff off on either craigslist or ebay.com. Music is the worst to try to organize for me. I can never think of were to put things. Like should Bob Mould solo stuff/Sugar go next to the Hüsker Dü? Or should Hüsker Dü go closer to Fugazi and Sonic Youth?
And this is why I hate packing.
Perhaps it's not the moving so much as the packing before moving, It didn't take that long to box up the box. But I stopped and thought to myself, "well this is going to screw up my system". Not that I have much of system other than trying to keep books by the same author together. And sometime try to shoot for a bit on genre continuity.
But then I hit myself with authors like Kurt Vonnegut (RIP), some his stuff could sort of go in SciFi but he never really wrote SciFi. Yeah some of his stuff was set in SciFi worlds and situation but I would never classify him as SciFi. He wrote like a grumpy man that told stories of horrible things happening to people and yet there was a strong sense of hope underneath it. Like the man said (I don't know which man) his (Vonnegut's) stories were sugar pills with bitter coatings.
Being that I am a geek, my SciFi collection has grown exponentially over the last year or so. I started by picking up some of the classics that I read back in middleschool and high school. Like Isaac Assimov, Arthur C. Clarke, A Canticle for Lebinwitz and other stuff like that. Then I moved into Neal Stephenson who writes some amazing stories and has moved onto volumes of historical fiction.
Which I guess means most of these last few guys will end up close by each other on the shelf. And then there's all the other stuff.
And I haven't even started looking at the CDs and vinyl. You may find me trying to sell some of that stuff off on either craigslist or ebay.com. Music is the worst to try to organize for me. I can never think of were to put things. Like should Bob Mould solo stuff/Sugar go next to the Hüsker Dü? Or should Hüsker Dü go closer to Fugazi and Sonic Youth?
And this is why I hate packing.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
And now a word from our sponsor
A few months back I started a subscription at emusic.com. Mostly because last summer at Pitchfork they were passing out cards with free downloads and there was a free sampler with bands from the festival. I've kept the subscription going as I keep finding things to download, and I'd like to think that some of the money makes it's way to the bands. And unlike the iTunes store everything you download is just mp3 format, so no DRM.
The cool thing is, I've downloaded music that I would have never purchased or even heard. Just the other night I discovered godspeed you! black emperor, who have proceeded to blow me away. They have this epic length pieces that are almost classical in arrangement but with added distortion and found audio samples. I don't think I've found a single piece of their's that is less than ten minutes long. Too long to even hear the whole thing one the way to or from work.
It helped me find stuff for my recent and somewhat ongoing jazz phase as well. The sight has a ton of Sun Ra recordings among other things.
Dang I sound like a shill, but I really am just happy to have found that site.
The cool thing is, I've downloaded music that I would have never purchased or even heard. Just the other night I discovered godspeed you! black emperor, who have proceeded to blow me away. They have this epic length pieces that are almost classical in arrangement but with added distortion and found audio samples. I don't think I've found a single piece of their's that is less than ten minutes long. Too long to even hear the whole thing one the way to or from work.
It helped me find stuff for my recent and somewhat ongoing jazz phase as well. The sight has a ton of Sun Ra recordings among other things.
Dang I sound like a shill, but I really am just happy to have found that site.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Eagle Valley
For the first time since 1994, I saw the town and mountain of Vail in daylight. And spent a day riding a small part of the mountain. Over the years I'd heard people say, "oh you have to go ride Vail, it's amazing" And they were right. If I had the money I think I'd go there as much as possible. Saratonin and I only hit a small part of the front face of that mountain. Of course it work me pretty damn good and I was pretty much out of it the rest of the day.
Which was fine as we ended up in Eagle dining at the Gourmet China Restaurant which is like almost every Chinese restaurant you'll fine in a mountain town. As in decently priced, nice servers, and good food. This place seemed to be really into shrimp dishes. I don't have a problem with seafood in Colorado but sometimes shrimp this far from a large salt water body (and no the Great Salt lake does not count) scares me.
My sister lives in a small mountain town that the Eagle River flows through, it's a cool little town. I know I could never live there, Steamboat was small enough for me. Here place is a Hobbit hole of a place, that includes a sort of barn door as the outer door. I managed to not take any pictures of Minturn (and really nothing much else) while I was there but I have some ideas for shots the next time.
The drive back, I decided to get off the Interstate and take U.S. 24 back to Colorado Springs. I hadn't been that way since '96 or '97 so it was pretty neat to go that way. Which on a good say seems like it's some what faster and far more scenic that doing the I-25 to I-70 drive. So depending on the weather I'll probably go that way from now on. Not having to deal with the Denverite traffic is good and views are actually calming.
Anyway, I'll probably staying closer for the next couple of weeks. I have to move into my new studio in two weeks and I need to not be spending money. And I need to start boxing up my stuff yet again.
Anyone want to help me move on March 8? It's just going from one building to another and I don't have that much stuff.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Swetsville Zoo
This weekend I went up to Ft. Collins. We ended up playing Rock Band most of the time, I can't play the drums but I did ok with the bass (of course that was the easy setting). If I had the money I'd spring for a PS3 just so I could play it more. Of course I don't have the money for that.
Sometimes I forget how much I enjoyed my time in Ft. Collins. The city reminds me of a town in the midwest, although a bit windier. The people who live there seem to have a similar attitude to the people back in the midwest. It's laid out in a grid like most cities back east and there are no big hills, it's mostly just rolling hills. The summer especially remind me of back east, streets there are tree-lined with what seems to be fairly old trees and you can bike almost anywhere. Unlike most towns in Colorado the older houses have porches, big porches.
On the way home I stopped at the Swetsville Zoo. My sister told me about it back when I lived in Ft. Collins and I've stopped by a few times but I never had my camera with me. It was deceptively cold with the wind so I wimped out after just taking a few pictures. I guess that means I'll just have to stop by when it's warmer to get a few more pictures. Maybe with some greenery around as well. It's a pretty interesting place, it consists of sculptures made out of old car and farm implement parts. Some of the stuff is sort of freaky and the guy who makes the pieces must have one interesting imagination.
Completely unrelated, I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from someone I haven't talked to in over ten years. It's pretty cool that these people from my past and I have been starting to reconnect in the last couple of years. And with a fair share of them, we've managed to stay in touch. I'm lucky that I have so many people in my past that I call and have called my friends. Lately, it's been a source of strength, considering what I've been going through.
It's pretty cool to pick up the phone and start back up close to where you left off. Even if it was over a decade ago.
Sometimes I forget how much I enjoyed my time in Ft. Collins. The city reminds me of a town in the midwest, although a bit windier. The people who live there seem to have a similar attitude to the people back in the midwest. It's laid out in a grid like most cities back east and there are no big hills, it's mostly just rolling hills. The summer especially remind me of back east, streets there are tree-lined with what seems to be fairly old trees and you can bike almost anywhere. Unlike most towns in Colorado the older houses have porches, big porches.
On the way home I stopped at the Swetsville Zoo. My sister told me about it back when I lived in Ft. Collins and I've stopped by a few times but I never had my camera with me. It was deceptively cold with the wind so I wimped out after just taking a few pictures. I guess that means I'll just have to stop by when it's warmer to get a few more pictures. Maybe with some greenery around as well. It's a pretty interesting place, it consists of sculptures made out of old car and farm implement parts. Some of the stuff is sort of freaky and the guy who makes the pieces must have one interesting imagination.
Completely unrelated, I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from someone I haven't talked to in over ten years. It's pretty cool that these people from my past and I have been starting to reconnect in the last couple of years. And with a fair share of them, we've managed to stay in touch. I'm lucky that I have so many people in my past that I call and have called my friends. Lately, it's been a source of strength, considering what I've been going through.
It's pretty cool to pick up the phone and start back up close to where you left off. Even if it was over a decade ago.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Driving on Colorado Highway 9
Anytime I drive on the highways of Colorado, I always see something that is just spectacular. Well maybe not every time, but pretty damn close. Especially when there are clouds hanging over some mountain, I alway get a sense of some movie or photo that I can't remember where I've seen it.
This last drive I actually got out of the care a few times to take some pictures. Most of the time I just stick my camera to take a picture, the results are medicore at best. For whatever reason I seem to that someday I'll actually get a good picture that way.
Not that I planned on staying here fourteen years ago, but I was lucky enough to land in a state that has a lot of beautiful vistas. Those views are something that I don't try to capture often enough. And if I don't they soon leak from my mind. I will forget something I've told myself I won't forget if I don't capture it.
I doubt if I'm the only person that happens to. It annoys me sometimes but I just chalk it up to brain chemistry or the abuse I've put myself through in the past.
But hey, sometime I actually can capture that moment and that makes me happy.
This last drive I actually got out of the care a few times to take some pictures. Most of the time I just stick my camera to take a picture, the results are medicore at best. For whatever reason I seem to that someday I'll actually get a good picture that way.
Not that I planned on staying here fourteen years ago, but I was lucky enough to land in a state that has a lot of beautiful vistas. Those views are something that I don't try to capture often enough. And if I don't they soon leak from my mind. I will forget something I've told myself I won't forget if I don't capture it.
I doubt if I'm the only person that happens to. It annoys me sometimes but I just chalk it up to brain chemistry or the abuse I've put myself through in the past.
But hey, sometime I actually can capture that moment and that makes me happy.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Drunken idiot
It seems that most of Colorado was closed on Friday or at least the part I was trying to get to. I-70 was shut down for most of the day and Rabbit Ears Pass was closed until late. The plan was I was going to go up to Steamboat and ride Howelsen again but that kind of didn't work. I did make it up for the night on Saturday to see American Relay.
For the first time in either a long time or ever, I was targeted by a member of the crowd for taking pictures. It was some drunken idiot who was sorely in need of a shower and perhaps rehab (although Steamboat has a fair share of people that need it). He started by jumping in front of my camera and waving his hands around to block my shot. When I ignored him, he didn't seem to like it, he came up to me and started saying something about how I should be dancing and how he like to enjoy the moment and not remember it (or something like that, there was a band playing). I still ignored him and again he got in my face saying "put your camera in your pocket and dance". At that point I finally said something. I basically asked him if he was offended that I was taking pictures. He said yes. I was basically said, what I do is take pictures and what you do is dance, so piss off.
That still wasn't the end of it. Later I was on the other side of the stage (yes, the Taphouse has a small stage). He saw me there taking pictures with one hand and a beer in the other. He crashed right into me to make me spill my beer all over my camera. For the first time in forever I almost attacked him, but instead I cleaned off my camera and took more photos. Including this one, which was after the beer incident.
Of course, I will remember the show and I actually was able to get some decent shots despite the idiot.
And like always American Relay killed it.
For the first time in either a long time or ever, I was targeted by a member of the crowd for taking pictures. It was some drunken idiot who was sorely in need of a shower and perhaps rehab (although Steamboat has a fair share of people that need it). He started by jumping in front of my camera and waving his hands around to block my shot. When I ignored him, he didn't seem to like it, he came up to me and started saying something about how I should be dancing and how he like to enjoy the moment and not remember it (or something like that, there was a band playing). I still ignored him and again he got in my face saying "put your camera in your pocket and dance". At that point I finally said something. I basically asked him if he was offended that I was taking pictures. He said yes. I was basically said, what I do is take pictures and what you do is dance, so piss off.
That still wasn't the end of it. Later I was on the other side of the stage (yes, the Taphouse has a small stage). He saw me there taking pictures with one hand and a beer in the other. He crashed right into me to make me spill my beer all over my camera. For the first time in forever I almost attacked him, but instead I cleaned off my camera and took more photos. Including this one, which was after the beer incident.
Of course, I will remember the show and I actually was able to get some decent shots despite the idiot.
And like always American Relay killed it.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Moving Pictures
Going to the video store lately has begun to present a challenge. It seems I've watched most of the movies that were high on my to watch list. I'm now to the point where I'll grab something I've never heard about or have heard questionable review. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. For instance, foreign films are hit or miss for me. A few that I've rented are completely awesome and I recommend them to other people, some are just awful and some I just get done watching it and thinking to myself "what did I just watch?".
For instance, tonight I watched this movie called Immortal which was based on a French comic book (that I'd never heard of). Visually the movie was awesome but I'm not sure if I really know what happened as far as the plot is concerned. If you want some eye-candy I'd say watch it. Perhaps something was lost in the translation. But it wasn't a stinker.
I have a hard time remembering what happened in a movie to begin with. Throw in a lot of slow moving and intricate plots and I just loose interest. Most of the time. Sometime it just takes a few times to get through and into a movie. It took me three times to final make it through Apocalypse Now. Not that it's bad or boring, but it moves really slow until the beach is stormed (I realize some people will debate this, oh well). Same thing with Blade Runner, which I think is one of the greatest movies ever make. But man does it move slow.
Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this. Somewhat related I think, is the fact that I don't remember moments in my life as sequences. I usually remember what I would call a snapshot of a memory. It seems that other people have memories more like a scene from a movie. I don't really. Some are like that but a majority are more like a photo.
Maybe that's why I take pictures. I wonder if I make movies if I'll start remembering events like movies.
For instance, tonight I watched this movie called Immortal which was based on a French comic book (that I'd never heard of). Visually the movie was awesome but I'm not sure if I really know what happened as far as the plot is concerned. If you want some eye-candy I'd say watch it. Perhaps something was lost in the translation. But it wasn't a stinker.
I have a hard time remembering what happened in a movie to begin with. Throw in a lot of slow moving and intricate plots and I just loose interest. Most of the time. Sometime it just takes a few times to get through and into a movie. It took me three times to final make it through Apocalypse Now. Not that it's bad or boring, but it moves really slow until the beach is stormed (I realize some people will debate this, oh well). Same thing with Blade Runner, which I think is one of the greatest movies ever make. But man does it move slow.
Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this. Somewhat related I think, is the fact that I don't remember moments in my life as sequences. I usually remember what I would call a snapshot of a memory. It seems that other people have memories more like a scene from a movie. I don't really. Some are like that but a majority are more like a photo.
Maybe that's why I take pictures. I wonder if I make movies if I'll start remembering events like movies.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Little happy pills
I'm sitting here listening to Elliott Smith's Figure 8 album and to tell the truth it makes me a bit sad. Sad because the songs themselves are sad and sad that he wasn't able to stay around and make some more albums. Unfortunately, when he was alive I didn't really know who he was. And I didn't really start listening to him until last year. I guess I sort of missed out but I'm glad to get to hear what he left behind.Why are people who are so creative so tortured inside? Once someone said to me that great art comes from conflict and struggle. At the time I didn't agree with that statement but I'm starting to see the wisdom in it. I missed the part where that conflict can come from inside.
Which leads me to something else I've been thinking about lately. For the last nine months or so I've been on an antidepressant. I want to stop taking them. Now may not be the greatest time to do it but I don't want to be tied to them anymore. I can't remember what my emotional state was before being on it but I'm not sure if I like how I feel on it now. And I think it's contributing to some weight gain as well. Sometimes I think I was better off when I still smoked (not really). Part of me thinks that if I were to get off of them that more creative side I used to have would come out.
The flipside is that my anxieties and depressions would probably be heightened at least in the short term. And I'm not so sure that is worth it. Although I still have that horrible social anxiety whether I'm on them or not.
I still have a months worth, so I guess I don't have to make the decision just yet. I just don't think I want to be tied to these little pills for the rest of my life.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Out of the box turtle
There was a time not that many years ago where I could walk up to just about anyone and start a conversation. At some point that changed and I became shy again. I'm not sure what happened or exactly when it did. It happened sometime when I moved to Colorado. I was talking to one of my friends last night and he said I was a social person. That is not the way I see myself, but so few of see ourselves for what we really are.
Of course, some of my isolationist tendencies are self-imposed. And now they've become so ingrained that they've first nature. I still have a hard time being the initiator of a conversations and especially with members of the opposite sex (and right now I'm torn between bitter to that gender or really wanting attention from that gender). Once I get started, I seem to do ok. It's just a matter of that initial push that I haven't got the hang of. I think in sales they call it the hook. Which seems sort of sad to me, but it does seem to work for a lot of people.
On a wholly unrelated note, my humble opinion is that "King of Carrot Flowers part 1" and "King of Carrot Flower parts 2&3" is one of the greatest rock songs that never hit the airwaves (well other than Indie Pop Rocks on Soma FM), which was recorded by Neutral Milk Hotel. They put out at least two albums and then just stopped. Thankfully we still had Elf Power.
Of course, some of my isolationist tendencies are self-imposed. And now they've become so ingrained that they've first nature. I still have a hard time being the initiator of a conversations and especially with members of the opposite sex (and right now I'm torn between bitter to that gender or really wanting attention from that gender). Once I get started, I seem to do ok. It's just a matter of that initial push that I haven't got the hang of. I think in sales they call it the hook. Which seems sort of sad to me, but it does seem to work for a lot of people.
On a wholly unrelated note, my humble opinion is that "King of Carrot Flowers part 1" and "King of Carrot Flower parts 2&3" is one of the greatest rock songs that never hit the airwaves (well other than Indie Pop Rocks on Soma FM), which was recorded by Neutral Milk Hotel. They put out at least two albums and then just stopped. Thankfully we still had Elf Power.
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