slugs

I'm not sure how I feel about myself these days. There are quite a few times when those thoughts of self-doubt and self-loathing creep into my head and I just can't seem to shake them. When I screw up or get my mistakes pointed out I get upset. Upset with myself but it perhaps appears as upset with other people.

The flip side to this is that my moods are affected by other peoples moods even though I try not to let it happen. When people around me are being crabby or grumpy towards me it gets to me even if I'm not the cause of it. I know that I'm not supposed to take it personally but sometime I do.

Over the years I've found myself going through various ebbs and flows of this stuff. Especially the self-loathing. It feels like it has to be peaking right about now because the insomnia is the worst it's been in a while and the thoughts that will be unnamed are the strongest.

I guess I should just remember that this too shall pass.

Hijacked!

Well, as you can see, this blog was hijacked yesterday by the lovely and talented Phrank. She says pirated, I say hijacked. I'm going to have to fix it so she can't get in here.

So what have I been doing instead of writing this here thingee? Let's see, you all know about the furniture, the fact that I talk in my sleep and I drool. Computer/Internet wise, I've been sucked into once again attempting to figure out UNIX with very little success. I can't even get the newsreader to work right. Not only that but I found a free VAX/VMS network to login into. Geez, the network OS of my youth. An aside to all you former BSU Refugees, I can't remember any of the old commands from VAX and it's just not the same in you can't tell where people are sitting any more. I know, geek, geek, geek.

The Surly Mayfly rolled over to 200000 miles this weekend. I was pretty excited about that. I even managed to get a picture of it rolling over. Although it may be considered cheating because I drove around the parking lot until it did. But now I need a new thing to obsess over.

I'll probably just stick with the UNIX thing for the time being. I'm way too distracted to write anymore right now.

ghostwriting--the wave of the 21st century

here's the thing, dear readers (that's right...you two guys over there), i've grown tired of checking keith's blog every morning thinking we might see a new post. sometimes destiny is what you make of it so here's a post. (you gotta think i'm going to get in trouble for this one!)

while the lug is still a snoring, drooling, babbling wad under the covers with a cat on his head, i've pirated his blog. funny, i don't feel like i pirate although i'm musty like one as i took yesterday off with the bathing gig. and the babbling...yes, he babbles in his sleep. being a good, often paranoid girlfriend, i used to try to break the code, so to speak, and figure out what he was saying. perhaps i would get some clue...some something...another woman's name or a location...(yes, yes i know the humor in this as keith is one of the good guys. he tells on himself for god's sake.)...i blame this all on aaron spelling and his 1980's and 1990's creations. damn you, melrose place!

i digress.

often.

today looks to be a day of bliss. yesterday we purchased new living room furniture as the existing futon could have been used as a torture device as its designer had obviously never heard the word 'comfort'. friday i went to the preview at the local auction house to find the perfect sofa. i found one that was perfectly aesthetically pleasing being a retro 1970's yellow and white flowered number. a bit too stiff though. i plopped. i sprawled. i reclined. and then i found it. (insert angelic mantras.) it's not pretty but it's not ugly. but, oh my. plus, the couch had two friends--an overstuffed recliner and an overstuffed rocker recliner.

so yesterday morning i took my barney rubble to the auction, pointed at various sofas and said, "sit there" and "what do you think". we agreed on the comfy sofa and his two friends. imagine how soft you'd imagine delta burke's bosom would be in her last two years on 'designing women'. the set is that soft.

the time came for bidding on my sofa and recliners. yes, i was already possessive telling grown men to please take their feet off of my couch. only one other bidder and myself were after the set. the other bidder was the owner of a shop who resold everything he bought. as the bidding got higher, i finally glared at the guy and yelled, "hey man, it's my couch and i'm poor!". the guy stopped bidding and we got the set for $85.

the plan for today involves lots of quality recliner and couch time. i'll make breakfast and read the sunday paper in my lovely recliner. after doing the morning dishes, i'll return to my recliner to enjoy today's race. i will nap and in my naptime, i will rejoice.

sweet blessed comfort.