I hate it when I obsess about stuff I really have no control over. For the last two weeks, I've felt like I have little say or control in what's happening around me. I came back from a vacation in Indiana and my life turned upside down the night I got back. The simple non-detailed explanation is that the wedding is off and I'm moving back to Indiana alone. There is quite a bit more to it but that's it for now.
I'm left with a lot of anger that I don't exactly know how to channel. There's a host of other feelings, such as betrayal and loss.
I've accepted the situation for what it is. That doesn't mean I have to deny feeling like crap about what has happened and I have a right to what feelings I'm experiencing right now.
Someday maybe I can get the lessons I'm supposed to learn from this. Right now I've got no idea what I'm supposed to be learning from this. Other than starting over once again. At least this time I'll be around my family and some friends I've had for years.
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