Looking back

As the time for me to head back to Indiana draws nearer, I find myself thinking about and attempting to reconnect with my past. Part of this is just the act of going around the state and trying to find those who have had an impact or otherwise played a part in getting me to this point in my life. I also have found myself contact those in Indiana (and elsewhere) that I've been out of touch with. Partially for selfish reasons, so I can have more people to hang out with when I get there. But there is another part and that is I may owe some of these people an apology. Mostly for just dropping out of sight and contact for however long it's been.

I'm not sure if I need to apologize for something like that but I do feel a twinge of guilt when I think about having just kind of disappeared all of those years ago.

There are also those that I delibertaly cut off contact with for whatever reasons sounded good to me at the time. Those are the ones I probably really do owe some kind of contrition too. I"m not sure what form it should take or if I even really need to do so after all of this time.

The only thing I know is that I can't change the past no matter how much I may want to. The only thing I can do is try to do the right thing in the now. I try not to worry so much about the past because of this but it's hard not to do sometimes.

I don't even know if I have regrets, and I don't know if even if I cuold if I would change anything about the past. It did make me what I am today after all.