After heeding my brother's concern I decided to delete last night post and the comment that went with it (and there are so few of those these days). But they were both correct to have expressed their concerns to me. And I glad that I have the kind of siblings who are afraid to tell me I've stepped over a line.
What I think I was trying to say is that in a completely irrational way, is that there is a part of me that would like to know that people who cause me pain will end getting the same kind and then some. The pain I'm talking here it the emotional roller coaster that I still find myself ridding at the age of 36. Part of growing up was to be that you get figure this stuff out faster as you get older.
Or so I was lead to believe. As you get older and you meet people who are older than you and they don't seem to have figured much out. Although sometimes people like that are a good milepost to see which direction one is heading. For instance, when we're out the other night some older drunk guy dame up to us and told us a pretty lame joke. I think to myself, I really don't want to end up like him. The sad thing is, I'm not so sure how close I could wind up being like him. I know I'd have to really start drinking a lot more cheap beer and even cheaper whiskey. And lose a few more teeth.
So for those of you that read this deleted post. I was rambling. Instead of doing anything about it by way of a grand shceme, I'm going to leave it alone. And may try to develop subtle mind control powers. That would be far more satisfactory. And it could become a hobby.
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I just started certain parts of the grieve process a bit late that's all.
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