I really try to keep my political opinions to myself. Not just by rarely writing about them here but in my daily life. I find that if I keep them to myself, people tend to not offer their own opinions. It has been my experience that most people who ask me about politics almost always have an agenda, usually they want an argument or to start a monologue.
Tonight I think I'm going to break this rule. Once again, the stupid flag desecration amendment failed to pass, although this time it was a heck of a lot closer. Only failing by one vote, I wonder to myself who the hell are these people in the Senate? I get the House, all the loonier ones end up there (on both sides I might add) but the Senate is supposed to be where the more thoughtful politicians end up (emphasis on supposed). Here's the thing, as far as I can tell the flag is just a symbol of this country. When people say they fought for the flag they really mean this nation. I can't imagine that some protester burning the American flag is really going to bring this nation to it's knees. The current administration on the other hand just might (I'll stop right there). When it comes down to it, a flag is just a piece of cloth. Sure it may be loaded with symbolism but it isn't much different than the ragged jeans on the floor of our bedroom.
I realize that this issue is just the tip of the iceberg and if I really wanted to talk about the idiocy of those in power I could pick some more substantive issues. Such as the ongoing war and corresponding reduction of our civil liberties and privacy. Something tells me that this flag thing and all of the other stuff is related. Or at least symbolically. It smacks of more of the same rising nationalistic streak we seemed to be going through as a nation in the last six years or so. Patriotism is one thing but there is such a thing as too much patriotism.
What do I know, I'm just an idiot with a keyboard?
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Soapbox derby, stupid money
So there are actually quite a bit of things to do here that don't always require money. Case in point, on Sunday Phrank and I headed downtown to check out the soapbox derby. I actually thought the cars might go a bit faster than they did but it was still pretty cool. Perhaps the best part was seeing the kids who had spent the time to make the cars excited to race them. There wasn't that much of a crowd but what was there was fairly enthusiastic.
For some reason money is one of the biggest issues that I let cause me stress. There always seems to be a point when the realization hits that yes I will get paid at the end of the week most of my check is already spoken for. The thing is I've almost always been broke and the few times I wasn't, I wasn't any happier. Knowing that should be enough to keep me from getting down about not having any money but it doesn't always. Like most things, that stressed out feeling seems to pass after a few hours. The concern is still in the back of my head but it doesn't bother me so much.
Having said all that, I'll gladly let one of my wealthy readers buy me a new computer. Oh right, you all are as poor as me. Oh well.
For some reason money is one of the biggest issues that I let cause me stress. There always seems to be a point when the realization hits that yes I will get paid at the end of the week most of my check is already spoken for. The thing is I've almost always been broke and the few times I wasn't, I wasn't any happier. Knowing that should be enough to keep me from getting down about not having any money but it doesn't always. Like most things, that stressed out feeling seems to pass after a few hours. The concern is still in the back of my head but it doesn't bother me so much.
Having said all that, I'll gladly let one of my wealthy readers buy me a new computer. Oh right, you all are as poor as me. Oh well.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Goddamn Cat.
I was almost asleep when one of the cats decided to step on my head. Unfortunately, when I'm awakened while drifting off I find it pointless lay there trying to doze off again. So now I'm sitting here in my underwear hoping to get tired again. Soon I hope.
Tonight I realized something about this thing with me and Phrank as we were sitting at Denny's (there's a Denny's here!). Sometimes our relationship takes work (all relationships like this do) but for once I like that it does. For the longest time I always wanted the easy way and I didn't want to work for anything worthwhile. Why bother on trying? And the thing about this one, it's always so much us that needs work but myself. Or at least with her and with her help I'm beginning to see things in myself that I've never dealt with or even been aware of. It can be frustrating for her I know and the fact that I still can't always verbalize about them doesn't help.
Last weekend she revealed something to me that I don't know exactly how I would have handled in the past. I guess back then I would have walked away or tried to punish her somehow. I did withdraw some, which is my standard defense mechanism and isn't the healthiest way to deal with stuff. I didn't even realize that I was doing it.
The thing is through all of this, I still consider myself to be pretty damn lucky. I couldn't ask for a better woman. Not only does she treat me better than I could ever let her know (and that's another thing I need work on) but I kind of won in the hot girlfriend lottery.
Tonight I realized something about this thing with me and Phrank as we were sitting at Denny's (there's a Denny's here!). Sometimes our relationship takes work (all relationships like this do) but for once I like that it does. For the longest time I always wanted the easy way and I didn't want to work for anything worthwhile. Why bother on trying? And the thing about this one, it's always so much us that needs work but myself. Or at least with her and with her help I'm beginning to see things in myself that I've never dealt with or even been aware of. It can be frustrating for her I know and the fact that I still can't always verbalize about them doesn't help.
Last weekend she revealed something to me that I don't know exactly how I would have handled in the past. I guess back then I would have walked away or tried to punish her somehow. I did withdraw some, which is my standard defense mechanism and isn't the healthiest way to deal with stuff. I didn't even realize that I was doing it.
The thing is through all of this, I still consider myself to be pretty damn lucky. I couldn't ask for a better woman. Not only does she treat me better than I could ever let her know (and that's another thing I need work on) but I kind of won in the hot girlfriend lottery.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Steamboat gets invaded
I've discovered that living with Phrank has cut down on the amount of time I spend online. Which isn't really a bad thing but I do find myself less inclined to pay attention to writing stuff here in this space. Of course my sister would say it's because I don't have anything to complain about anymore. There is a bit of truth to that but I'd like to believe that I didn't complain that much. Admittedly, when I started this I had a job that was pretty crappy (or at least the customers sucked).
After hearing the news about what is in store (and has already started) for the Steamboat area, I can safely say I'm damn glad I'm not there this summer. It seems that Rainbow Family has decided to have their national Rainbow Gathering about forty miles north of Steamboat. Man, I would be one hateful jackass if I were still working at the gas station this summer. I can't imagine how much more insane this is going to be compared to the 4th of July hippiefest they tried for a couple of years with the String Cheese Incident. At least the Rainbows won't be sticking around town that much once they stock up and get chased off for panhandling (as a side note, I've never seen more scorn heaped on panhandlers than I have in Steamboat). But there is still the normal hordes of overweight softball parents and their screaming broods of children. I'm not really missing that part of summer in Steamboat.
Anyway, those of you up there reading this, I feel for you. But at least all I have to deal with is the heat here. Oh and rightwingers.
After hearing the news about what is in store (and has already started) for the Steamboat area, I can safely say I'm damn glad I'm not there this summer. It seems that Rainbow Family has decided to have their national Rainbow Gathering about forty miles north of Steamboat. Man, I would be one hateful jackass if I were still working at the gas station this summer. I can't imagine how much more insane this is going to be compared to the 4th of July hippiefest they tried for a couple of years with the String Cheese Incident. At least the Rainbows won't be sticking around town that much once they stock up and get chased off for panhandling (as a side note, I've never seen more scorn heaped on panhandlers than I have in Steamboat). But there is still the normal hordes of overweight softball parents and their screaming broods of children. I'm not really missing that part of summer in Steamboat.
Anyway, those of you up there reading this, I feel for you. But at least all I have to deal with is the heat here. Oh and rightwingers.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Control
I have no control. This is something I thought I knew along time again. It's always seemed apparent to me that as the world spun around me there was really very little that I had the power to change. Including myself.
I've always had a sense of powerlessness. For quite a few years this powerlessness manifested itself in the guise of me seeking out conspiracy theories and believing them (that's not to say in the back of my head I still think there is a secret group pulling lots of strings). I was engrossed in them and they fed that feeling of no control over anything. By believing that some shadowy group controlled the destiny of the human race I was basically saying that I gave up and let it happen. What was I going to do, fight them somehow? Thankfully, after giving up some things and talking it out, I came out and realized that it really didn't matter and that it was a manifestation of a deeper paranoia. I still have quite a bit of paranoia but I believe it's not as bad as it once was.
What I'm slowly learning (and I mean very slowly) is that the only control I actually do have is over myself. I still don't know how to exert it most of the time. I let my emotions take over and shut down because I don't know how to deal with them. Dealing with my issues is going to take a long time and I don't even know really where to begin. Even though I have a pretty good idea of where they come from, I really don't know how much that is going to help. So far the only thing I know is that I have no control over anyone else but me and I don't have much of that right now.
I've always had a sense of powerlessness. For quite a few years this powerlessness manifested itself in the guise of me seeking out conspiracy theories and believing them (that's not to say in the back of my head I still think there is a secret group pulling lots of strings). I was engrossed in them and they fed that feeling of no control over anything. By believing that some shadowy group controlled the destiny of the human race I was basically saying that I gave up and let it happen. What was I going to do, fight them somehow? Thankfully, after giving up some things and talking it out, I came out and realized that it really didn't matter and that it was a manifestation of a deeper paranoia. I still have quite a bit of paranoia but I believe it's not as bad as it once was.
What I'm slowly learning (and I mean very slowly) is that the only control I actually do have is over myself. I still don't know how to exert it most of the time. I let my emotions take over and shut down because I don't know how to deal with them. Dealing with my issues is going to take a long time and I don't even know really where to begin. Even though I have a pretty good idea of where they come from, I really don't know how much that is going to help. So far the only thing I know is that I have no control over anyone else but me and I don't have much of that right now.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Heat
The heat has finally hit. I thought I was prepared for it and I guess I knew it would be hot but it's always a bit of a shock when it finally sets in. This part of the state is still in a serious drought and it shows. As far as native plant life goes most of it is still brown and I doubt if it will get green at all by this point. There is a city wide fire ban and water restrictions are soon to follow.
Someone tried to tell me today that it's not always like this but I doubt if they were really telling the truth. Actually one of the few things I remember about being here that many years ago was the heat. And I was driving that stuffy little truck then as well. I still can't bring myself to use the AC in my car. Based on past experience, it doesn't seem to work that well as it is. Plus, I never drive far enough to warrant using it.
What really gets me about this is I have to get out of bed after laying there for a while because I get hot. This really has nothing to do with the heat outside, we have the AC on at night in the apartment. I'm just too stupid to get rid of the comforter. Tonight it's going away.
After this past weekends purchases I'll be finding myself out in it more often (which is a good thing, as long as there is enough water). Phrank and I bought a fair amount of camping gear and soon will be camping at one of the camping grounds here in town to test it all out. We've been hiking some as well. I've decided I need a new hydration pack. The one I have for the winter is just too small.
Once we get the gear situation settled it'll be good to escape the city and get up into the mountains. As I've said before there is a lot around here I haven't seen yet and I look forward to checking it out with Phrank.
I wonder if my sheets are cool yet?
Someone tried to tell me today that it's not always like this but I doubt if they were really telling the truth. Actually one of the few things I remember about being here that many years ago was the heat. And I was driving that stuffy little truck then as well. I still can't bring myself to use the AC in my car. Based on past experience, it doesn't seem to work that well as it is. Plus, I never drive far enough to warrant using it.
What really gets me about this is I have to get out of bed after laying there for a while because I get hot. This really has nothing to do with the heat outside, we have the AC on at night in the apartment. I'm just too stupid to get rid of the comforter. Tonight it's going away.
After this past weekends purchases I'll be finding myself out in it more often (which is a good thing, as long as there is enough water). Phrank and I bought a fair amount of camping gear and soon will be camping at one of the camping grounds here in town to test it all out. We've been hiking some as well. I've decided I need a new hydration pack. The one I have for the winter is just too small.
Once we get the gear situation settled it'll be good to escape the city and get up into the mountains. As I've said before there is a lot around here I haven't seen yet and I look forward to checking it out with Phrank.
I wonder if my sheets are cool yet?
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