One thing that I try not to do is live in the past but I find that my past catches up to me. And I don't really mind it when it happens. The thing is, those glory days are still to this day ahead of me. I've had wonderful times as well as sad times, and my friends remind me of the good times and don't let me forget the bad. It's funny, at the times I thinks I've screwed up the most, good friends find me and remind me of what is real. As you may know, I live inside my head a little too much and these kids pull me out of it (kids in the positive sense). This isn't living in the past, this is being reminded of the present. My boys and girls from whatever in my life point me straight when I've crossed a line. And I need that. I'm not always the most observant person on the face of the planet as much as I'd like to believe.
Someday I want to have a gathering for everyone I've ever know. I want DJ Paradox, Crankpin, The Plagiarists, American Relay, DJ Also Starring and FON/Fire Hydrant Man/National Trust to play this thing. Of course this is totally unrealistic but I want to see all parts of my world collide. As I age, I have so many years of great friends and history that I'd like to see it all in one room. I have this feeling all of these people would mesh really well.
I've been freakin' lucky to have these people in my life. I don't even know how it is we've came to meet. Divine intervention? Coincidence? Whatever, I'm one lucky Surly Monkey.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Print job
Most of my evening was spent printing up some photos. Most of them were just 4x6 prints for an album but I did print out a few larger ones for someone.
The one shown here is one of them. The really cool thing about this photo is that if you were to look closely, there is a dog, a bird and a deer carcass. Unfortunately, you can't really make them out here on the web. This one is part of a series I took at the Solsberry Viaduct outside of Solsberry Indiana.
Lately, a few people have been encouraging me to try and have a show of my photos. For the first time I'm actually considering it. I've never considered myself an artist (or writer for that matter), so I have no idea as to how about getting a show together. It's probably just a matter of asking the right people the right questions.
The only show I've ever thought about would be one with photos from my brother, sister and myself. I really think that would be a cool show. All three of us have some great photos.
The one shown here is one of them. The really cool thing about this photo is that if you were to look closely, there is a dog, a bird and a deer carcass. Unfortunately, you can't really make them out here on the web. This one is part of a series I took at the Solsberry Viaduct outside of Solsberry Indiana.
Lately, a few people have been encouraging me to try and have a show of my photos. For the first time I'm actually considering it. I've never considered myself an artist (or writer for that matter), so I have no idea as to how about getting a show together. It's probably just a matter of asking the right people the right questions.
The only show I've ever thought about would be one with photos from my brother, sister and myself. I really think that would be a cool show. All three of us have some great photos.
D'oh
There are some things I shouldn't do when too drunk. One is driving. Another is writing about my business on this blog. Things tend to come out wrong.
Last nights post is a great example of that. What I intended to write came out horribly wrong and it was a post that should have never been published. I need to stick to movies and music when I am way drunk. I could delete it but I think it would be pointless at this point. I'm not going to try and reinterpret it.
My bad.
Last nights post is a great example of that. What I intended to write came out horribly wrong and it was a post that should have never been published. I need to stick to movies and music when I am way drunk. I could delete it but I think it would be pointless at this point. I'm not going to try and reinterpret it.
My bad.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Jerk (am I?)
I'm kind of a bastard. I think have been leading someone on, thankfully she doesn't live here. It all started with a crack about meeting somewhere in the desert and seemingly snowballed (snowballs in the desert?) from there. I guess at the time I meant it but now I'm not so sure. I'd rather go back home than to the desert.
Last night I got a couple of strange, pathetic (in the sad sense, not lame) voice mails on my phone. A portion of today was spent figuring out how to react to them and I'm still at a loss. As flattering as getting drunk dialed is, from far away just isn't that effective. It's just going to suck having to let someone down and bail out.
The thing is, it just comes down to conversation. Or flowing conversations that is. With the person on the other end of the VMs, I just don't feel it. It's just never really clicked for me. Not to say anything bad about her but for me it's just not there. Maybe it's the drunk thing but I'm not sure.
Jeez, I think I'm an ass.
Last night I got a couple of strange, pathetic (in the sad sense, not lame) voice mails on my phone. A portion of today was spent figuring out how to react to them and I'm still at a loss. As flattering as getting drunk dialed is, from far away just isn't that effective. It's just going to suck having to let someone down and bail out.
The thing is, it just comes down to conversation. Or flowing conversations that is. With the person on the other end of the VMs, I just don't feel it. It's just never really clicked for me. Not to say anything bad about her but for me it's just not there. Maybe it's the drunk thing but I'm not sure.
Jeez, I think I'm an ass.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The movies
Tonight we watched "The Upside of Anger" which I've been told is a chick flick. Whatever, I'm not afraid to watch chick flicks as long as Hugh Grant and/or Meg Ryan aren't in them. This movie was actually pretty good and it didn't completely cross that line, you know the one that just can scar a movie too many of the male gender. It was however every female dominant, the could thing was that the women weren't all saccharinely sweet even though they were sisters and mothers. Joan Allen (who I haven't seen in that much but that's just me) was very convincing and real in her lead role. And for once Kevin Costner pulled off a decent job (he needs to just stay in front of the camera I think), close to his work in "Tincup" although older and even more lost. Not only that there is a nice twist at the end which isn't even implausible.
I actually enjoy movies like this, the old name for them was dramatic comedies but somehow they got lumped into the chick flick realm. Truth be told I don't exactly get this other than it is just another marketing ploy. Of course it could be that I'm just a pansy but I'll tell you the only time I cry in a movie is when the dog dies.
I actually enjoy movies like this, the old name for them was dramatic comedies but somehow they got lumped into the chick flick realm. Truth be told I don't exactly get this other than it is just another marketing ploy. Of course it could be that I'm just a pansy but I'll tell you the only time I cry in a movie is when the dog dies.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Wrap up.
The end result of this weekend is about ten photos. Not so good when you consider the goal was to go and capture the fall foilage today. I went driving in south Routt country but discovered that there was nowhere to pull off the road when I saw something I wanted to talk a photo of. Fine. I think I got two good shots out of the whole bunch.
It wasn't an entire waste, though. I did stay up super late talking to a certain young lady who lives somewhere east of the Mississippi River. Quite an enjoyable conversation I must say.
There was a party I went to but I had to flee when a bunch of college kids showed up and finished the keg off in less than ten minutes. I know I was one of those kids once but damn do they drive me crazy now.
I'm sure there are lots of things that I've missed and a few that I've left out on purpose but oh well.
It wasn't an entire waste, though. I did stay up super late talking to a certain young lady who lives somewhere east of the Mississippi River. Quite an enjoyable conversation I must say.
There was a party I went to but I had to flee when a bunch of college kids showed up and finished the keg off in less than ten minutes. I know I was one of those kids once but damn do they drive me crazy now.
I'm sure there are lots of things that I've missed and a few that I've left out on purpose but oh well.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Here's to the skunk!
When I go outside for a late night smoke I almost always see what I can only assume is the same skunk hopping around the 'hood. This skunk intrigues me a bit. Usually I'll try to passively get his (I'm guessing it's a he) attention by doing a little clicking sound. I don't want to spook him but I want him to look at me. As I said a long time ago, even though they can smell foul, I have an affinity for skunks. To be honest, I don't really know why it is that I think they are so cool. Maybe it's just the way they look. They are kind of cute as long as you're not on the business end of one.
It does seem strange to me that this skunk and I are on the same time cycle. Invariably I'll see him coming from across the street over to our side and he just pokes around, looking for scraps of food as far as I can tell. I've entertained the notion of feeding him but I know that's really a bad idea. Watching him hop and dart around is quite entertaining for me though.
Earlier this summer there were a few baby skunks hanging around as well. They were just adorable, all tiny and waddling around following the momma skunk, looking for food. Like I said, I have a thing for skunks. The thing with skunks is that as long as you don't mess with them, they won't mess with you.
Another cool think about skunks is that they are one of the few animals that are native to all parts of the 48 states. I can't think of a state that I've been that I haven't seen one in. And I'm not even counting the plush skunk I have.
It does seem strange to me that this skunk and I are on the same time cycle. Invariably I'll see him coming from across the street over to our side and he just pokes around, looking for scraps of food as far as I can tell. I've entertained the notion of feeding him but I know that's really a bad idea. Watching him hop and dart around is quite entertaining for me though.
Earlier this summer there were a few baby skunks hanging around as well. They were just adorable, all tiny and waddling around following the momma skunk, looking for food. Like I said, I have a thing for skunks. The thing with skunks is that as long as you don't mess with them, they won't mess with you.
Another cool think about skunks is that they are one of the few animals that are native to all parts of the 48 states. I can't think of a state that I've been that I haven't seen one in. And I'm not even counting the plush skunk I have.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Dork and proud
It seems I'm descending deeper and deeper into dorkdom and I don't even care. The sad thing is, this time I am dragging others down with me. Lately, I've been IMing a young lady who I know from many years ago. Clearly she was never quite the dork I was but if she is not careful she could slowly catch up. I'm under the impression that IM is generally for dorks but the thing is quite enjoy our chats.
All my life, I've always been a bit of a dork. When I was a kid, I was much more inclined to be inside reading than outside playing and even when I went outside invariably I'd have a book in hand. Once I discovered computers, video games and the Internet it was all over.
Being an early user of the Internet (and this was before the WWW, kiddies) didn't help much. Ever since then I've felt lost when I've gone for more than a few days without access to the Internet. Which is a little disturbing in a way, especially because anymore I can't imagine life without being connected.
The thing is I've never denied my dorkiness, I know I've been one for a long time. It's not a horrible thing. I have a wide command of useless trivia floating around in my puny brain and when I get the chance to play trivia games I do pretty well. The sad thing is when I drag other people into the circle of dorkiness.
All my life, I've always been a bit of a dork. When I was a kid, I was much more inclined to be inside reading than outside playing and even when I went outside invariably I'd have a book in hand. Once I discovered computers, video games and the Internet it was all over.
Being an early user of the Internet (and this was before the WWW, kiddies) didn't help much. Ever since then I've felt lost when I've gone for more than a few days without access to the Internet. Which is a little disturbing in a way, especially because anymore I can't imagine life without being connected.
The thing is I've never denied my dorkiness, I know I've been one for a long time. It's not a horrible thing. I have a wide command of useless trivia floating around in my puny brain and when I get the chance to play trivia games I do pretty well. The sad thing is when I drag other people into the circle of dorkiness.
Home for a Holiday (80% chance)
For the first time in over ten years I have a job that I usually get weekends off. Not that it matters so much in a town like this but all the same it is weird. That today is actually Thursday (well Friday now) and it is my Thursday is still a bit strange to me. I think I work for some cool people.
Another reason that I think I work for some cool people is that today I asked if it would be possible for me to go back to Indiana for Thanksgiving (being that it's been 10 years at least since I've been able to go home for a holiday). Not only did my boss say yes, she also said "I think you should go". How cool is that? So as long as I can score a plane ticket I will actually be able to see my family for Thanksgiving Day. And some friends while I'm there as well. I'm pretty excited at the prospect.
In the years that I've lived here, going home for a holiday has always been out of the question. Either because I was working in food service or where I worked was inadequately staffed. The place I work now is still part of the service industry but is pretty much fully staffed. Or at least staffed enough for me to finally get away for a holiday.
It'll be good to be back there for this holiday. Have I've said here before, I miss my family more and more. Especially my brother and sister. Today I was able to tell both of them and they both seemed pretty stoked.
If I were savvy and silly enough I'd set up a "Send Me Home for Thanksgiving" tip jar. But I'm not so I won't.
Another reason that I think I work for some cool people is that today I asked if it would be possible for me to go back to Indiana for Thanksgiving (being that it's been 10 years at least since I've been able to go home for a holiday). Not only did my boss say yes, she also said "I think you should go". How cool is that? So as long as I can score a plane ticket I will actually be able to see my family for Thanksgiving Day. And some friends while I'm there as well. I'm pretty excited at the prospect.
In the years that I've lived here, going home for a holiday has always been out of the question. Either because I was working in food service or where I worked was inadequately staffed. The place I work now is still part of the service industry but is pretty much fully staffed. Or at least staffed enough for me to finally get away for a holiday.
It'll be good to be back there for this holiday. Have I've said here before, I miss my family more and more. Especially my brother and sister. Today I was able to tell both of them and they both seemed pretty stoked.
If I were savvy and silly enough I'd set up a "Send Me Home for Thanksgiving" tip jar. But I'm not so I won't.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
That song
I love it when a song just gets me right there. Guided by Voices has at least one of those songs. The one at this very moment is "I am a Tree". I can't describe it other than it has one hell of a catchy guitar riff and some awesome rhythm. And the lyrics are pretty cool. If I wasn't tied to my headphones and the roommates weren't sleeping I'd probably just crank it and jump around the room playing air guitar.
That moment when you hear a song like that for the first time is like no other. You know, when that deacon is made to add this song to the sound track of your life. At least in my case. And I have quite a few, so many I couldn't name them all even if I tried and they run through the course of rock-n-roll (I'm including hip-hop in here as well) history.
Lately, I've been digging in the vaults and pulling out stuff that is easily close to twenty years old. A partial list: REM "Life's Rich pageant", Husker Du "New Day Rising" and random singles from Joy Divison and Mission of Burma. I just hope I'm not living in the past.
That moment when you hear a song like that for the first time is like no other. You know, when that deacon is made to add this song to the sound track of your life. At least in my case. And I have quite a few, so many I couldn't name them all even if I tried and they run through the course of rock-n-roll (I'm including hip-hop in here as well) history.
Lately, I've been digging in the vaults and pulling out stuff that is easily close to twenty years old. A partial list: REM "Life's Rich pageant", Husker Du "New Day Rising" and random singles from Joy Divison and Mission of Burma. I just hope I'm not living in the past.
You're still younger
Today is my brother's birthday. So if you are reading this, Happy Birthday Hutch.
As I was writing that I realized that I have never mentioned just how cool my brother is (and my sister for that matter). It makes me wonder if my parents know just what kind of kids they raised. All and all we turned out pretty good. Even though he is just a little younger than me, Hutch is almost a role model to me. He is the one that has helped encourage my love of skating (even though I don't do it as much as I should), turned me on to awesome bands and has shown that it is possible to go for what you want to do no matter how hard it is. There is a reason that everytime I'm with him we always run into someone who knows and holds him in esteem.
Not only that but he has a magical power over beagles. I can't figure it out but from what I can see beagles are drawn to him (and he to beagles). Just recently another beagle came into his life and I can't wait to meet her.
Like I said, Happy Birthday brother.
As I was writing that I realized that I have never mentioned just how cool my brother is (and my sister for that matter). It makes me wonder if my parents know just what kind of kids they raised. All and all we turned out pretty good. Even though he is just a little younger than me, Hutch is almost a role model to me. He is the one that has helped encourage my love of skating (even though I don't do it as much as I should), turned me on to awesome bands and has shown that it is possible to go for what you want to do no matter how hard it is. There is a reason that everytime I'm with him we always run into someone who knows and holds him in esteem.
Not only that but he has a magical power over beagles. I can't figure it out but from what I can see beagles are drawn to him (and he to beagles). Just recently another beagle came into his life and I can't wait to meet her.
Like I said, Happy Birthday brother.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Well just a bit late
This is a photo from the weekend I am still recovering from. Or at least one night of the weekend. This would be a shot of Guns and Rosa Parks who came up from Ft. Collins and played the Rio along with Rusty Shackleford and The Plagiarists. It was quite fun and nowhere as near as violent as the last show with Rusty Shackleford. I suspect I was the only one to leave bleeding and I didn't even discover it until the next morning.
Truth be told I kind of blown away about how this shot turned out. After looking at it for awhile I figured out that the ghost double shot was due to someone elses flash going of. It totally makes me want to get a slave flash. Such a cool effect. Like most of my photos, luck played a large part in getting this shot. I was just going for the jump in the air.
The turnout was good that night considering there was a Brewfest the same day and almost everyone in town was already drunk. Not me, I'm on 10 years of not going and this year I could have. I didn't want to break my streak or anything.
Truth be told I kind of blown away about how this shot turned out. After looking at it for awhile I figured out that the ghost double shot was due to someone elses flash going of. It totally makes me want to get a slave flash. Such a cool effect. Like most of my photos, luck played a large part in getting this shot. I was just going for the jump in the air.
The turnout was good that night considering there was a Brewfest the same day and almost everyone in town was already drunk. Not me, I'm on 10 years of not going and this year I could have. I didn't want to break my streak or anything.
Ramble on and on
Man, once again it seems that I'm out of touch with what is going on in the outside world. This is what happens when I don't spend hours at a time glued to the Internet. Of course, it is September which is generally a slow news month other than the normal death and mayhem that happens every day. Oh yeah, I guess we have a war going on but at this point what can I say? I'll leave that topic for the political blogs.
I seem to have no real focus these days. As much as I'm looking forward to winter and snowboarding it doesn't seem to be enough this year. And I think this may be the first time I've ever felt like that. It has to be a yet another sign that I'm really to give up this place. I'm not really sad about it either, the prospect of leaving is actually exciting. I know I've left before but it wasn't very long and not totally my choice (not that I regret my stay in Ft. Collins, far from it. I met some really cool people.). But the next time I leave is because I'm choosing to.
I'm jumping all over the place here. Like I said, I seem to have a lack of focus lately.
Maybe it's just this time of year. Autumn (or the mountain's version of it) seems to be a time when one can take a step back and reflect. Maybe that's what I'm doing. The strange thing is this is usually the only part of the year I get homesick but this whole past summer I've longed to be back in Indiana. Lord only knows why, it would be almost like starting over when I do go back. But this time of year there is the scents and colors that make fall truly fall.
Wow, I totally just rambled my way through this one.
I seem to have no real focus these days. As much as I'm looking forward to winter and snowboarding it doesn't seem to be enough this year. And I think this may be the first time I've ever felt like that. It has to be a yet another sign that I'm really to give up this place. I'm not really sad about it either, the prospect of leaving is actually exciting. I know I've left before but it wasn't very long and not totally my choice (not that I regret my stay in Ft. Collins, far from it. I met some really cool people.). But the next time I leave is because I'm choosing to.
I'm jumping all over the place here. Like I said, I seem to have a lack of focus lately.
Maybe it's just this time of year. Autumn (or the mountain's version of it) seems to be a time when one can take a step back and reflect. Maybe that's what I'm doing. The strange thing is this is usually the only part of the year I get homesick but this whole past summer I've longed to be back in Indiana. Lord only knows why, it would be almost like starting over when I do go back. But this time of year there is the scents and colors that make fall truly fall.
Wow, I totally just rambled my way through this one.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Lazy
I think I've been feeling a little lazy lately. I have close to 200 photos from the weekend to go though and I just can't get started on it. It could be the overwhelming amount and the fact that anything I want to put online needs to be resized and edited. I started a bit tonight and just gave up. Of course starting at 1 am may have something to do with it as well. Maybe I shouldn't take so many pictures.
Plus I've been totally geeking out on Yahoo! Instant Messenger. It's fun and I've been talking to people I haven't talked to in years. I'd rather do that than edit photos. There is enough of that kind of thing at work to do and it's not even my stuff at work. I'm sure I'll find my momentum in the next couple of days but not tonight.
And of course Myspace keeps dragging me in. Now I discovered the games and that's just not good at all. The greatest waste of time are puzzle games and I am hooked. I'll have to stop the moment I start dreaming in them (that's when I knew I had to quit Tetris).
I think I need to get out of town. Maybe that will help.
Plus I've been totally geeking out on Yahoo! Instant Messenger. It's fun and I've been talking to people I haven't talked to in years. I'd rather do that than edit photos. There is enough of that kind of thing at work to do and it's not even my stuff at work. I'm sure I'll find my momentum in the next couple of days but not tonight.
And of course Myspace keeps dragging me in. Now I discovered the games and that's just not good at all. The greatest waste of time are puzzle games and I am hooked. I'll have to stop the moment I start dreaming in them (that's when I knew I had to quit Tetris).
I think I need to get out of town. Maybe that will help.
Sleeping it off
So I'm attempting to cut back on the booze a bit. It's not one of those things where I am quitting, but I need to try and go to sleep without it. There was a time when I didn't feel I had to drink to sleep but I've been scared of insomnia since the last bout.
The good news is I'm not getting the DTs so I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic. And I'm not standing by the fridge at 1:30 in the morning debating whether I should open a beer for the heck of it.
Recently, I realized there hadn't been a day without me taking a drink in a long time. So this week is time to slow down. Plus I'm freaking broke and I doubt if I'll quit smoking this week, so I'll just cut my expenses in the booze department. Or at least until I feel it's been long enough.
It really is the fear of insomnia that has driven me to drink every night for the last few months. I am prone to really bad bouts of insomnia that give me an hour of sleep sometimes. The prospect of laying in bed tossing and turning is distressing to me. And so I drink to fend it off. Maybe I'm chasing demons through a bottle but there can be demons in the bottle as well.
The good news is I'm not getting the DTs so I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic. And I'm not standing by the fridge at 1:30 in the morning debating whether I should open a beer for the heck of it.
Recently, I realized there hadn't been a day without me taking a drink in a long time. So this week is time to slow down. Plus I'm freaking broke and I doubt if I'll quit smoking this week, so I'll just cut my expenses in the booze department. Or at least until I feel it's been long enough.
It really is the fear of insomnia that has driven me to drink every night for the last few months. I am prone to really bad bouts of insomnia that give me an hour of sleep sometimes. The prospect of laying in bed tossing and turning is distressing to me. And so I drink to fend it off. Maybe I'm chasing demons through a bottle but there can be demons in the bottle as well.
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