My pale attempt to go to bed early was defeated by an overactive brain. Mine to be precise. I haven't had a bout of insomnia in a long time so it kind of took me by surprise. When it does happen there is nothing I can do about it, generally I get up and sit in front of the computer or in last nights case read some of the book I've been working on. If I lay there, the thoughts just keep running through my head and I can't stop them. While laying there, my mind will consider every possible permutation of the future, past and present it can come up with. What's even worse is that it's aspects that I've never considered at other times. Or things memories from the past that I didn't remember until that night.
For a long time I drank almost every night to keep the insomnia away. At some point, I realized I generally didn't need to do that and stopped. Most nights I sleep fine. But every once in a while it hits again. And invariably, it's a night before I have to wake up very early for me. Actually it's been that way for a long time. I think it could be the anticipation of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour (for me). I've never been a could early riser. To be able to function at work, I need to be up for two hours before I go in. Of course at the gas station, I could roll out of bed, shower and just go. Keep in mind there was an unlimited amount of coffee to drink and a Denver Post to read.
Anytime a night like that happens to me I get a bit concerned it could be just the first of many sleepless nights coming on. Admittedly, it's a rather irrational fear but a real one nonetheless. But there have been weeks to months on end where I've managed to get just a few hours of sleep a night if that. And one night of it always makes me wonder what's next. Having said that, as exhausted as I feel, I imagine that I'll sleep pretty well tonight.
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