As many people in my life know, I've been alone (in the nonfriends way) for a long time. The truth of the matter is, I haven't tried that hard to do something about the situation. Although it seems that around here, if you try that hard you come across as desperate. I may be lonely but I'm not desperate, there are things that occupy my life. Of course, looking at that last sentence makes me think I could be wrong. The real problem is I just don't know where to meet women in this town (and the ratio doesn't help), I truly don't like hanging out in bars. Which could explain why I'm always writing this during bar time. And yet it seems that the only place to meet new people in this town is bars. Maybe the random show or two, but those take place in bars as well. So for now I'll just sit in front of my computer listening to Internet radio and gripe about how I can't meet anyone. Which is a total copout that I'm well aware of.
The scary thing is, I don't really mind doing what I'm doing right now. I think I've finally tipped the scales of cynicism in relation to the opposite sex when it comes to this town and I've come to the conclusion that I just don't care (although if I truly didn't care I wouldn't even mention it). It could be that I'm just not cool enough for the women of this town but I'm not convinced of that. Although after getting shot down so many times maybe I am convinced and haven't accepted it yet. Apparently, I've become resigned to the fact that as long as I remain living here in Steamboat Springs, I will be alone. Which is just another reason of several to leave as soon as I can do it right.
As much as I think I don't care, the truth is I hate being alone and it scares me as much as the fact that I don't care.
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