Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Festivus!

It's officially Festivus kids! I hope you all have your Festivus poles in place and are ready for all of the excitement that is on tap for today. Don't forget to get the group together for the wonderful festivities. I know I am totally looking forward to the Feats of Strength this year. I bet I could get pinned rather quickly considering I am the 98 pound weakling.

And what is Festivus without the Airing of the Grievances? I'll start. You, Mr. President, you are a freakin' idiot. Actually, you 51% of the voting public are freakin' idiots as well. Starting (unnecessary) wars and spying on your own people, you should be ashamed. And you, the Sony Corporation, as much as I dig my PS2, putting Trojan horses in some of your CDs to protect your precious copywrites (and how well do you pay the artist that created it?). That's just plain bad. Walmart, would it kill you to pay your employees a little bit more and give them health insurance? Locally, Jim Cook, why do you desire so much to tear down the Harbor Hotel? It may be kind of homely but it still has it's charm. City Market, the U-Scan closes way too early, everytime I go in there after 8 pm there is always a line at the one checker you have left, get with it. And for you drunken idiots at the bar who I have to push my way through to get one beer and steal a glass, could you stop spilling your drinks on me and just drink them? She may find you cuter that way. Oh, I could go on but why?

Now, Loyal Readers, it's your turn. Please air all of your grievances in the comments section. And attack me if you must but just be ready for the Feats of Strength!

Happy Festivus...it's for the rest of us!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ah, at last...

i take issue with the gravitational pull between a driver's right foot and his/her brake pedal while traveling on I-25 underneath the bijou street bridge. highly unnecessary people!

and to my family--i appreciate that you guys still insist on sending presents however i can assure that i need NO MORE FUCKING TURTLENECKS! i know i live in colorado and this fact mortifies you people but i'm quite certain that i will not be freezing to death nor will i be attending any workshops on the beat writers. i appreciate your concern for my general well being, however i prefer thermals. it has been this way since 1980. turtlenecks freak me out as it feels like the junkyard dog is putting a chokehold on me.

as for you, geekboy, you get yours tonight.

phrank