I'm a junkie. I'm addicted to cigarettes, well nicotine to be precise. This morning I still haven't had my fix and there is a general fuzziness to the day. If I delay it long enough at times there is a bit of a buzz.
I don't like smoking that much, it makes me smell and I spend way too much money on it. Plus, it's killing me faster than life itself. Smoking has a bunch of little rituals associated with it that may be harder to break than the physical addiction. Going outside during a break and having one. There are situations that I tell myself I need one after whatever it is happens. When I drink, I smoke (thankfully, I've cut back on that one). Coffee and a smoke.
Even writing this I had to stop and go have one. And I can feel the changes in my brain. I hadn't had one in almost twelve hours (well I did sleep).
The thing is, if there were a safe way to ingest nicotine, I'd do it. There was the possibility of nicotine enhanced water but the FDA canned it. But I'm to the point where I see smoking for what it is and feel what the damage it is causing me. I'm in the beginning stages of wanting to quit. I've never tried to quit before and after reading up on it, I see I'll need some kind of maintenance program for a while.
I don't know when I'm going to start quitting but I think I need to prepare myself for it. Maybe I should call that number that is always on TV.
2 comments:
i agree that you should call the number that's always on the television. the psychic hotline will be indispensible.
phrank
day two sans smokes
body count: 0...so far
I think all it takes is making the decision. You have to set the date (and time couldn't hurt) that you are going to stop. Say your last cigarette in the pack, smoked at midnight, then straight to bed. You wake up with none and thus, it begins. It's like any other withdrawl--I've heard that it's worse than giving up heroin! At this point (3 1/2 years after quitting) I still miss it everyday but I remind myself how hard it was to get thru those first few days and I would never want to do that again so no starting. I also changed my environment (no bars for a while) and stopped hanging out with smokers. They made it too hard.
If a doctor told me that I was dying and there was no chance of getting better, you bet the first thing I'd do is start smoking again but I work retail and have a small child and nothings been bad enough to make me start again...fingers crossed!
W-
Post a Comment