The Friend Zone

Sometimes I get myself in trouble and it is all inside my head. I've learned to keep certain things to myself (and yet, I'll go and talk about it here) because I know that if I were to ever verbalize them it wouldn't come out the right way. This often leads to the appearance that I am rather indecsive, when in fact I just won't offer an opinion.

Throughout the years, I've been told that I should let out what I'm feeling but I don't buy it. Especially when it comes to letting others know what you feel about them. Whether I highly dislike someone or like them, I generally try not to let it show. And if I'm really into someone (as in female) I don't want it to show. I've made that mistake before and I really don't want to repeat it.

Even right now there are a couple of women I'm into but I'm not going to do anything about it. There is one that I can't bring myself to call (although part of it is I know if I were to ask her to do something her bodyguard of a friend will be there, watching out) and the other one I'm sure as hell not going to tell how I feel about her because I would be crushed by the likely response. Of course, most likely I've already been placed in the friend zone for both, anyway. So it goes.

The friend zone is the most annoying and awkward position that women can put men in, I've decided. As far as I can tell it is virtually impossible to get out out of the friend zone (although I've heard stories of it happening). Not only that but I can't help thinking that it is a form of denial at times. I get the feeling sometimes that if one conversation had been different, there wouldn't be a friend zone barrier. Although, the truth is I have no idea how I end up there so often. It could be that I'm just not enough of a bad boy. Or I am too smart for my own good. I doubt that though, I never even finshed college. I can't help it if I'm attracted to women who are intelligent and I can talk to. Yet I'm just seen as a pal.

It's not as though I don't like having friends, I just don't like fixed states of friendships. They're inherently fluid to begin with and things do change over time.

Whatever. I'm not going to sit here and sulk about it. But I do think the friend zone is almost as pitiful as me not calling one or telling another one how I feel.