Dear Surly Monkey-
Don't worry about neglecting me, ever since you wrote that first letter I can tell you've been paying more attention to me. Why, you even rode me to work today. I can understand why you walk to work and you are right it is almost pointless to ride me there (although I do get you there faster). I've long since accepted the fact that I am here for transportation and I gladly perform that service. To be honest, I don't even really like riding down those trails (it might be a different story if you would upgrade my componentry, you cheap bastard). And I don't begrudge the skateboard at all. I would totally throw you off me if you tried that crap with me.
The only problem I have with you is that you never gave me a name. You had your car for less than a month and you named it the "Surly Mayfly". What gives? It's not that big of a deal but I do feel a bit slighted.
Anyway I am happy to serve as your trusty stead and if you ever do get a new bike please don't forget me.
Yours in service,
Your Bicycle
1 comment:
Remeber that part in fight club where Ed Norton finds all of the odd literature in the house he's flopping in? The bits about the stories written in first person from a human organ's point of view? "I am Jack's bloated liver..." These letters of yours to and from inanimate objects are starting to creep me out. At least you don't talk in the third person like Jimmy from Seinfeld "There's the guy that took the bread out of Jimmy's mouth"! (that's my favortie episode, btw)
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