I had that sense of dread again when I woke up this morning. I really don't know where it comes from but it freaks me out when it comes out of nowhere. It hadn't been happening much at all or if it had I wasn't noticing it. Even stranger is that it doesn't even last that long. For maybe ten minutes after I get out of bed it will be there, strongly at first and then it slowly ebbs. As I've said here before, I have a pretty good idea what causes it. But as to why this is a manifestation of the condition is beyond me. Thankfully, it goes away and by the time I leave the house it is mostly forgotten.
It makes me wonder, how many people out there wake up like this? And is it worse for people who feel completely trapped by their lives? It is hard to imagine going through life never even considering that dropping it all and leaving is never an option. Or is it fear of a different sort? Possibly a partial media induced fear, that makes people far more paranoid than they should be. Paranoia is not that fun as I know from experience and I was nowhere near as bad (put it this way, I never made that tin foil hat) as many out there.
When I wake up like that I just need to shake my head and remember that there is only so much in my world that I create. All the rest is out of my hands.
1 comment:
I occasionally wake up with that impending sense of doom also, but it just fades as the day goes on so I guess it's nothing. It is scary to wake up to though.
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