It seems I'm a drunk. Not quite an alcoholic but definitely not a teetotaler. When I wake up in the morning I feel better if I've had a drink or two the night before (and I mean just a couple, I still get hangovers if I drink too much), than if I have nothing. I'd imagine it's a bit of a chemical dependency but I sleep better that way. To be honest I don't quite understand it. One would think going to bed sober would make you more alert in the morning but I guess that is not the case with me. That or I need to go for a long time without drinking anything. The thing that scares me is that I drink at home and sometimes alone. And I've been told that is not a good thing.
I guess everyone has their downfalls, apparently mine is a fondness for fermentation in the form of alcohol. The thing is, I barely feel that I abuse it let alone am addicted to it. I've gone nights on end without it but I'd rather have a bit of it before I sleep. Like I've said before maybe it just helps chase the demons of reality away. I don't really think that is the case. There aren't that many demons in my life other than that money thing. And that is a demon we all share (Wow! Capitalism!). Yeah, there is that inability on my part of forming relationships but I suspect some of that is location based.
Truth be told, I'd rather drink at home than invest myself in new relationships that will eventually end in heartbreak for me. I'm too old to go on the prowl for the one night stands anymore and I'm too jaded to think that the next one is sitting at a barstool or booth next to me. On top of that I don't have the resources to meet someone in an exotic locale. Or the energy to carry on a long distance relationship.
So I'll just sit here and drink at home. Not every night. But it helps me sleep.
3 comments:
You hit that nail right on the head, buddy. My sentiments exactly. Kudos on the honesty. SSDD.
Hey Man, a couple of drinks at night to cool your jets ain't no thang. Back in the old days, they'd call that a "nightcap" and it was totally normal and expected.
These days people are so hyper about issues that if you are a regular drinker you get called a drunk - or if you drink for its effect rather than its "taste."
I say, as long as drinking does not interfere with your life in a negative way (i.e. being too hungover to go to work or getting into an auto accident), then go for it!
Anyway, those perfect people in Europe not only drink gallons of alcohol, but they smoke a lot, too!
Go the way of your own logic and you will make sense to yourself.
watch what you wish for...or deny, my friend.
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